last goodbye. hmm, only the second JB reference? let there be Frank:
Excuse me now I’ll take the sun
I’ll take my place in Valhalla
And if the revolution comes
Please take my gun
Liquid Chatter is such a shitty name for a radio show. But King Kong’s Balls is better than anyone deserves, so I’m okay with the Clark Kent schtick. How appropriate. I have to say goodbye and I don’t know if I’ll ever make it back, damn I’m gonna miss radio.
Thanks, if you ever listened.
you can’t swing a cat without hitting someone urging you to join a cause, facebook group, or petition effort. well fuck everyone else, this is the only thing you need to do this year to feel happy, fulfilled, and socially progressive. okay, ready? listen (read) carefully…
CJSR needs Haitian programming. I happen to know of a couple of Haitians who want to do radio. folks, we have a situation here, the equivalent of a horny young bull just a rickety fence away from a field full of juicy, panting, bovine estrogen. help Liquid Chatter bring down that fence, i say! in the Name of Kong, of course, who has always been partial to things juicy, horny, and promisingly procreative.
Make Haitian programming happen at CJSR! and what is your role, oh swingophile, oh devotee of the black fleshy Spheres? just let ‘em know, send ‘em an email: “I want Haitian programming at CJSR! I *want* to hear Haitian dudes talking Haitian French and spinning great fucking Haitian tunes! I really think the Haitian community in Edmonton is deserving of a voice! I may or may not be Haitian, but this is fucking important! Thank you!” and guess what? I bet noodles to nutsacks it’ll happen. because the good people at 88.5 FM are also smart people, heck they’re probably already *planning* to make Haitian programming come true at the Red Rising Star. but just let ‘em know. they need that, they need you to let them know that you know they’re good and smart, they need to know that you *can’t wait* much longer for Haitian programming.
Send emails to music@cjsr.com, and be very nice.
In other news, if you’re not subscribing to Airtight, CJSR’s weekly newsletter, then you are probably a fucker and a Haitian programming-hater to boot. get subscribed already! find out how at cjsr.comif you are an enlightened owl of a little bastard, said lovingly and reverently, then you know this week’s Kong Question: Who or what is Athabaska Dick, and what is Athabaska Dick allegedly based on?
Finally!… transcripts of our interview with Connor ought to be coming soon. a wonderful guest, one of our all-time old-time hockey greats. sign interpreter, Jason, was a gifted dude also. Coming soon, we hope to see: the U of A chapter of WUSC (World University Service of Canada), cartoonist Fred Curatolo, Jan from Jelly Parrott, and we’re *still* trying to cook something up with the U of A’s Safewalk program. it’s all about the entourage, friends.
Be good to your little ol’ selves, love your neighbors and cherish your knees.
Connor is not dumb or blind, and we’ve yet to ask him if he’s partial to pinball. He happens to be a young deaf Edmontonian in his first year of PoliSci. He also happens to be a going and growing concern in Eville’s live theatre community. Liquid Chatter will get a chance to interview Connor Thursday, November 19.. ever wonder what life’s like, sans Nickelback? Do signers make better lovers? Does deaf = handicapped?
We missed Alex Konye, owner of Broad Valley Books, to the flu last week. Alex is preparing to end a long and valiant run as one of Edmonton’s most excellent book purveyors. Here’s hoping we catch him in a few weeks, assuming the hwon-hwon doesn’t take the man.
http://www.yelp.ca/biz/broad-valley-books-edmonton
Finally, have you done your part to get Ester to Tanzania? And what is the proper pronunciation of Tanzania, anyway? Should one say it “Tan-zah-nee-a” or “Tan-zay-nee-a”? Get on over to vote for Ester, it’s painless and it’ll totally improve your sex drive:
http://www.i-to-i.com/campfire/gopeeinafridge/posts/1191-My-Ultimate-Trip-of-Novelty-and-Adventure
You gotta open an account to vote, but this is no biggie. If Ester does not win, someone evil is sure to.
A few weeks ago, our guest Katie Peterson described her travels with NGO Falls Brook Centre (via a CIDA-funded internship): http://www.fallsbrookcentre.ca/
In addition to exposure to sustainable forestry efforts and community-building initiatives in New Brunswick, Katie participated with ongoing attempts to revive and protect heritage forests in the region. She also attended a few grand barn dances. Katie then went on to Cuba to get involved with a number of farming initiatives in several regions, including an operation in Guantanamo province. Our visit from Katie quite fortuitously coincided with Sustainability Week. Shoot blindly, murder the stars.
In unrelated news, we urge all decent souls to help send Ester to Tanzania. This will achieve 2 worthy goals: Ester is as deserving as the next person to win a trip to Tanzania, and perhaps moreso than most. Ester will stop spamming people to help her get to Tanzania. Everybody wins. Just click the link, the small bother is truly worth it:
http://www.i-to-i.com/campfire/gopeeinafridge/posts/1191-My-Ultimate-Trip-of-Novelty-and-Adventure
CJSR’s FunDrive 2009’s a wrap. Final tally will take a bit, but we raised somewhere in the order of $115,000.. that’s $35,000 shy of the goal, so it looks as though office staff will continue to share the One Bic Pen. Cost-saving measures with regards to our paperless office will extend to bathroom privileges (please wash the rag thoroughly after each use).
So that makes for a worrisome trend.. 2 years and counting where 88.5 FM failed to meet its fundraising targets. It’s all a bit heartbreaking, when you take into consideration the blood, sweat, and tears so many have oozed through the year.. all the continued support from so many Eville businesses.. the annual fidelity of many hundreds of individuals who never fail in showing their appreciation for community radio. Any ideas why we come short of things, folks? Are the on-air personalities that obnoxious? Is the programming a little too ripe? raw? retarded? I give up. Thoughts?
Happy 25th, CJSR. And thanks to everyone who donated to Liquid Chatter: Joe, Ron, Colin, Harold, Mike, Anastasia, Michael, the Hoach, Warren, Desmond, Krisha, Erika + Rich, and not Rudy (who still called, and donated to Democracy Now, and who is still owed a show, so we’re even).. we maintained at ~$1000, we had fantastic guests over our 2 FD shows (Chow Mein Event, Anarchist Book Fair), and I managed to smuggle an Alpha Flight into the ever-rockin’ Shoebox. To the station super stars who went above and beyond, we salute and/or adore you beautiful fucking people.
Norway had their Quisling, the US of A had their Benedict Arnold.. and Canada, our Holmes?
The debate surrounding healthcare reform in the US gives us a chance to witness some of the most colossally ignorant behavior ever to emanate from a supposedly civilized and democratic nation. Obama’s proposed reforms are cautious, to put it mildly. Yet to gauge things by the rhetoric of his detractors, you would think he was ushering in some sort of neo-Communist regieme: “Round up the guns! Euthanize everyone over the age of 68! Etc!”
So it was bound to happen.. a partisan and sensationalist US media hungry for the next sound-bite, and eager to fuel this farcical “debate,” found in one Canadian woman an all-too-complicit poster child for Victims of the Failed Socialist Healthcare Experiment Up North. Yes, if not Shona Holmes, then who? But it is Holmes we see all over YouTube now, so be it: Let it never be said that a Canadian wouldn’t speak up to decry ineptitude and short-comings in our public institutions. Gods know, our healthcare is well worth a little pride, and even more so our continued scrutiny and diligence.. each of us. Every level of government in this country has been telling us for years we can’t afford health, we need to cut back, we need “realistic expectations.” Who doesn’t have a personal experience (wait times), who hasn’t felt impotent anger over the poor treatment of a loved one, at least once as a result of healthcare inefficiencies?
Is Canada’s system of universal healthcare perfect? No! But it’s a model worth preserving, and if we let it fail then shame on us. In the meantime, for those who would shill for the US networks, thanks for nothing.. or, for one thing, rather: “Quit trying to Holmes me.” It’s not every day we get to coin a phrase.
i knew it. i always wondered where kong’s balls came from. turns out it wasn’t really king kong at all… it was a boat parts & repair shop next to the trans canada highway somewhere west of thunder bay. it was the loincloth that gave it away… that, and the lack of pupils.
this has to be true, non? plastic seats are hard, unforgiving. usually gaudy, often chipped. occasionally with a weird, unidentifiable stain that looks a little too much like gum for comfort, but it’s the only empty seat and you’re completely knackered, so you sit on it anyway and try not to think about it. these are the seats in subway stations, college hallways, sometimes even doctor’s offices. i will choose my couch every time - stuffed with feathers, long enough to stretch out on, wide enough to curl up on, firm enough to sit on and still completely napperiffic. and always free from the nagging guilt of i-should-be-studying, or the lip-pursing dryness of tongue depressors. couch seats do indeed beat plastic seats. every time.
This just in: Norm Frizzell is *not* retiring his long-running Thursday (10pm to midnight) slot. Long live Deprogram!
Apologies to Norm for the wretchedly unKong-like rumour-mongering. And to the fucking eejit who infected Liquid Chatter with said rumour: slow death by balls.
Ahh the suggestive phrase.. one of us sits in soiled pants, the other feels the inexplicable desire to get laid.
Regrets: goodfriendMatt–and co-host of Liquid Chatter–will be away for an interminable period of time. After reading “Fatal Shore” he set himself to the task of authentic historical recreation: Convict Life in Australia. Currently in phase one of this ambitious project, Matt has been living in the bilgey rotting hull of a convict ship, “waiting for transport.” Paid actors, large men all, have been sodomizing him with some frequency “for the realism.”
Mike enjoyed himself indecently, with Joe and Matt (E-Town’s AudioRocketry) some weeks ago. Live tunes and the banter of minstrels.. the requisite pantslessness.. the swinging of the mighty balls, and as always harmony.
Fiona takes the helm over the month of April. Liquid Chatter is now, officially, More British Than Ever Before. Stay tuned for regular Warren Dickie features! Scientists have discovered the Anti-Randy Bachman particle and dubbed it Hoachidium. So whatever CBC’s Vinyl Tap is, expect its polar opposite over April’s duration. Sounds something like… great tunes, pants-shittingly fantastic banter, and the utter absence of self-aggrandizing bullshit! Kong-approved, indeed.
Looking to May: Spyder Yardley-Jones returns for a session with Ron “Ask Me About Comic Books” Ditco.. an entire episode on the film adaptation of “Watchmen” and specifically, deets on Ron’s experiences as Doc Manhattan’s junk double. What, you actually thought that was Billy Crudup’s wang?
In other news: sad farewells to veterans Dan Electreau and Norm Frizzell (Flying Saucer Rock ‘n Roll and Deprogram, respectively). Solid shows, dedicated volunteers, big stinky pants to fill. No! Anti-pants! These guys were like, *pioneers* of pantslessness. I was just starting to show a little ankle when those two were proudly parading their black assholes all over E-Town! Jeff and Norm, you will be missed. And Jay Hannley! What’s with the exodus, hmm? On behalf of years of LC hosts, and speaking as the Voice of Kong: “Go forth, good soldiers, and swing mighty”
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